Did you know, according to psychologists, women find men who aren’t always available even more attractive?
Yes, you heard that right! It’s called the scarcity principle, and it’s all about how we humans value what’s less available to us. Fascinating, right?
Well, if you’ve found yourself scratching your head wondering how you can navigate this tantalizing balance between availability and scarcity, then you’re in the right place!
In this guide, we’re going to take a deep dive into what it means to be “not too available”, why it’s so darn attractive, and most importantly, how you can master it.
We’ve got a treasure trove of fifteen sparkling tips that will help you become more comfortable with being less available, without losing your authenticity or turning into a game-player.
So, buckle up, gents, it’s time to set off on this exciting journey and explore a whole new side of attractiveness you never knew existed.
Women Find Men Who Do This Attractive
TIP 1: Time: The Luxury You Own
Our journey begins with a crucial reality check: valuing your time.
Think of it this way – time is the priceless currency of your life. Would you casually toss around a bag of diamonds? Not likely, right? The same should apply to your time.
There’s a well-known principle that psychologists often cite when something is ever-present, its value can diminish in the eyes of others. Sounds unfair, but it’s a human tendency.
So how do we flip the script on this? Start with establishing clear boundaries.
Announce your availability and your downtime and stick to them like your favorite band’s concert dates!
I know, it sounds tricky, especially if you’re the “always-on-call” kind of person. But here’s a promise from me to you – it’s transformative.
Experts agree that setting boundaries can earn you respect and helps others perceive your time as precious.
Here’s a mantra for you: “My time is my luxury, and I decide how I spend it.” Say it, soak it in, and let it guide your actions.
Trust me, it’s your first big leap towards being assertively available, rather than being always available.
TIP 2: The Art of Prioritizing Yourself
Ready for tip number two? It’s all about putting yourself first.
Ever noticed how we often end up becoming everyone’s go-to person, leaving our own needs stranded on the backburner?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating for selfishness, but self-care. Psychologists suggest we can’t truly help others until we’ve helped ourselves.
So, let’s start treating self-care as a non-negotiable.
This could mean diving into that book that’s been sitting on your shelf, indulging in some me-time, or finally getting to that hobby you’ve been eager to pick up.
Always remember, prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential.
TIP 3: Crafting Your Individual Universe
Our third piece of wisdom is about cultivating a vibrant life outside your relationships.
Here’s a question: what’s something you’re passionate about, something that lights you up, and isn’t dependent on anyone else? It’s time to give that the stage.
When you fill your life with your unique interests, maintain friendships that energize you, and chase your personal goals, you’re naturally less available, but in a good way.
Not only are you living a life that thrills you, but experts say that it also makes you more attractive because it shows you’re a complete individual on your own.
So, grab that guitar, kick that soccer ball, or draft that business plan. Cultivate a life that exhilarates you, and you’ll naturally embrace the right balance of availability.
TIP 4: Mastering the Power of ‘No’
Our fourth golden nugget is simple yet transformative: learn to say ‘No.’
Sure, it sounds easy, but how often do we say ‘yes’ when our hearts scream ‘no,’ just to avoid disappointing others or being perceived as rude? It’s time to flip that switch.
Embracing ‘no’ as a positive expression is a powerful strategy for protecting your time and energy. It’s not about being dismissive; it’s about maintaining healthy boundaries. Remember, you can’t be everyone’s superhero, and that’s okay.
Next time you’re swamped, and someone asks for a favor, gracefully decline. It might feel foreign initially, but trust me, it gets easier with practice.
Each time you say ‘yes’ to something you’d rather not do, you’re saying ‘no’ to an activity you could genuinely enjoy or need.
So, begin exercising those ‘no’ muscles, and witness the revolution it brings in your life.
TIP 5: The Art of Holding Your Ground
Have you ever considered the power of not dropping everything at someone else’s whim?
It’s an easy trap to fall into, especially when it’s someone who quickens your pulse.
But giving in to the impulse of canceling all your plans for them sends an undesirable message—that your life is an empty theater awaiting their performance. Experts caution that it also heaps unneeded stress on your relationship as it morphs into your life’s nucleus.
Instead, communicate your enthusiasm to meet but suggest an alternate time that complements your schedule.
Upholding your personal commitments not only reflects self-respect but also, psychologists suggest, boosts your appeal—you’re not merely an actor on standby for their show.
TIP 6: Embrace the Slow Lane
Moving on to the sixth tip—how about we slow things down?
When Cupid’s arrow strikes, we tend to want to spend every conceivable moment with that special someone. But hey, who says good things can’t come to those who wait?
Rushing, psychologists agree, can often stifle a relationship, while a more measured pace allows for a solid foundation, a deeper understanding, and preserved independence.
Plus, it’s a surefire way to prevent becoming overly available—you’re not racing to spend every second together.
So, savor the journey of getting to know one another. Remember, the best things in life are worth the wait.
TIP 7: The Power of Paused Responses
Our seventh tip might make you pause (pun intended): don’t be too quick to respond.
Now, I’m not suggesting a full-blown freeze-out, but consider this: In early-stage relationships or general interactions, replying in a flash to texts or calls might give off unintended signals.
If you’re always Johnny-on-the-spot, it could be perceived as if your day revolves around their messages. And that’s not the impression we’re aiming for, is it?
So, take a beat before you respond. If you’re in the middle of something, it’s perfectly acceptable to reply later.
This isn’t about playing coy or hard to get; it’s about honoring your time and refraining from rushed responses.
Remember, time is the rhythm of respect, both for others and yourself.
TIP 8: The Symphony of Balance
Rolling into tip number eight, have you ever taken a moment to consider the symphony of your life?
Is it balanced with the right mix of work, hobbies, relationships, self-care, and downtime?
The magic in maintaining balance lies in its power to naturally reduce availability—you’re too busy savoring the varied flavors of your life. Plus, psychologists agree that balance is the key to mental health and overall well-being.
So, take a step back and assess. Are you spending too much time in one area and neglecting others? What could be adjusted to achieve a more harmonious life?
Reflect and fine-tune. Remember, life is a melody—it’s up to you to ensure it stays in tune.
TIP 9: The Colors of Your Social Rainbow
Sliding into tip number nine, let’s diversify. Being too available often happens when your focus narrows down to a single person.
But who wants monochrome when you can have a rainbow? Enrich your life by spending time with friends, family, coworkers, and even sparking new connections.
This not only broadens your perspective and experiences but also reduces the risk of being overly available to one person.
As they say, variety is the spice of life, and a vibrant social circle makes you a storyteller, adding color and interest to your interactions.
So go ahead, paint your social life with every color in the palette!
TIP 10: The Excitement of Unpredictability
Onto tip number ten, dare to be unpredictable! If you’re constantly accessible, prompt to respond, and ever ready with a ‘yes’, it might turn into a monotonous rhythm.
Now, unpredictability doesn’t equate to unreliability or inconsistency. It’s about adding an element of surprise—respond swiftly one day, take your time the next; hang out this weekend, head off on an adventure the next.
Psychologists suggest that a sprinkle of mystery can pique interest, keeping people intrigued and adding that needed zest to life.
Remember, life doesn’t always have to follow a strict schedule; sometimes the detours make the best stories!
TIP 11: The Dance of Initiation
And for tip number eleven, let’s talk about initiation.
If you find yourself always leading the dance—initiating conversations or plans—it might be time to let your partner take the lead.
Relationships, like dances, are a two-way street, requiring effort from both sides.
If you’re always the initiator, it might signal over availability.
Try a new approach: let them initiate. You might be pleasantly surprised at the frequency of their moves once given the chance.
Remember, in the dance of life, it’s just as important to follow as it is to lead.
TIP 12: The Power of Your Voice
Tip twelve is all about championing your own opinions.
Have you ever caught yourself just nodding along to keep the peace, even when you disagreed? It’s a trap we often fall into, especially when we’re interested in someone.
But did you know that psychologists agree that having and expressing your own opinions actually cultivates respect and individuality?
Being unafraid to voice your thoughts demonstrates that you’re not just a mirror reflecting back others’ ideas.
And believe me, a bit of healthy disagreement can spark those deep, intriguing conversations that truly let you connect.
So, flex your voice and let your opinions fly!
TIP 13: The Art of Solitude
Moving on to lucky number thirteen—let’s talk about relishing in your own company.
Counter-intuitive as it may seem, those quiet moments of solitude can make you less available and—here’s the catch—more attractive.
How’s that, you ask? When you’re comfortable being alone, you show that your happiness isn’t tied to someone else.
You’re free to reflect, delve into your passions, and rejuvenate on your own terms.
Experts affirm that self-comfort is an attractive quality that speaks volumes about your self-assuredness.
So, let’s pencil in some blissful ‘me time’. Trust me, once you master the art of solitude, it’s a real game-changer!
TIP 14: The Ode to Self-Care
Onto tip fourteen: let’s practice the melody of self-care. This tune harmonizes perfectly with prioritizing your own needs.
You see, self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s about nurturing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Plus, regularly dedicating time to yourself naturally makes you less available.
From that invigorating workout to tranquil meditation, or even a simple culinary treat, ensure you’re looking after yourself.
Remember, you can’t fill others’ cups if yours is empty. It’s time to refill yours first.
TIP 15: The Anthem of Self-Worth
And finally, we reach the crescendo with tip fifteen: sing the anthem of your own worth.
This is the cornerstone, the foundation upon which all these tips stand.
You need to believe that you’re deserving of respect, time, effort, and love.
When you’re steadfast in your worth, you won’t tolerate being treated as an afterthought or taken for granted.
Take a moment and reflect on your worth—acknowledge the fantastic qualities that make you unique.
The stronger your self-belief, the less likely you’ll be too available. Always remember, you’re not just settling for the best, you ARE the best! So, don’t accept anything less.