Do you want to learn how to spot narcissistic manipulation tactics?
In today’s video, we’re going to be discussing how narcissists use different forms of emotional manipulation and psychological control to bend you to their will.
Narcissists are drawn to co-dependency, they will try to gaslight you with their communication tricks, play on your emotional side and more.
By learning what manipulation in relationships looks like and the tell-tale signs of psychological manipulation & tactics you can do your best to avoid these type of people.
This can apply to men, women, wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, friends & even work colleagues or your boss.
The full transcript of this video is available below.
Narcissistic manipulation tactics
Hands up if you have ever run into a relationship whether it’s romantic a business or a friendship with a narcissist.
This is definitely me and damn I do never ever want to run into one of those guys again.
Narcissists are masters of manipulation and if you want to learn their devious ways to avoid the trap of one then stay tuned!
My name is Anna and have a lovely day.
They make you feel amazing
Once you’ve met a narcissist, you’ll surely be nodding along with me at this tactic.
This is what they do, they greet you and they make such a fuss of you when they first see you that you are just overwhelmed by their humble and lovely nature.
You may hear:
- I just can’t believe how amazingly skilled you are
- You are just incredible
- I’m so impressed
These nice sentences sound sweet to the ears and maybe you can’t help with bathing the compliments. Then it turns out it’s just their way to gain control.
They are purposely making you feel special and valued so that you like them more. To keep you around for some form of advantage. Sadly they go out of their way to make you feel special and you may still be awesome.
However they only ever feed you compliments for their benefit, next time someone gives you an overwhelming amount of flattery, it’s best to turn the other way avoid them completely.
Their love bombing will reel you in.
The long conversations
Narcissists, well they absolutely love themselves. They admire themselves which is called the grandiose trait. Normally they love to hear the sound of their own voice and they will speak for hours.
Narcissists always have amazing stories to tell you and it’s easy to want to listen to them because they really are mysterious and very intriguing.
They do this to manipulate you more.
So to test if you are having a narcissistic long conversation, pay attention to what they actually say. If they include lots of filler words and unnecessary sentences to book out the conversation that’s your sign.
They are drawn to co-dependency
A narcissist naturally seeks out someone with co-dependent characteristics because while they are a perfect contrast, the narcissist gets to blame the other.
Blame them for the mistakes that the narcissist did which makes the co-dependent person become some kind of servant. Apologizing for things they never did and becoming so very afraid of the narcissist’s next move, they say yes to everything.
Hot and cold behaviour
Without a doubt, a narcissist plays games to take advantage of people and situations. They will give you lots of attention and compliments, so that one day you melt in their hands. Then help them with pretty much anything they request of you but then the next day they are cold and distant.
They might say you did something wrong and if you ever find yourself whispering ‘wtf’ chances are it’s because you are confused about what happened.
They are just so delusional with their emotions and their crazy behaviour.
This is one of the biggest tactics that you will ever come across. They will gaslight you to manipulate your own thoughts and question your own mentality. For the hope that the narcissist somehow gets their own way over you.
The act of gaslighting can be seen in lying. They deny anything wrong ever happened and tell you that you are crazy. Then will turn everything onto you and make out that you are the one in the wrong .
For example, if you suspect a narcissist was cheating on you and you snooped on their phone and naturally, you accuse them. They wouldn’t actually acknowledge the cheating, they would maybe tell you off for snooping.
Maybe say ‘see this is why I cheated I can’t trust you to not look through my stuff’.
Gaslighting is a narcissist weapon to make sure they come out on top.
If you ever feel that you need to record a conversation with a narcissist for proof of what was said because you feel they always go against their own words, it’s proof of the gaslighting.
The OTT emotions
Narcissists are very emotionally unstable and they use their emotions to manipulate the world around them.
You can expect a narcissist to almost groom you, tell you sweet things to get you into their personal circle. They may dish out lots of their own shocking personal stories to keep you interested in them. Then if you do something that upsets them even if you don’t do this thing on purpose, the narcissist will see red.
Boom! Expect dramatic emotions, anger, crying for help, wearing or calling you out for previous bad behaviour. It’s a lot and because you don’t expect the average person to act as bad as this, you almost believe that you did something terrible.
Their unstable emotional rhythm is exhausting and so painful.
It may cause you to work even harder and tread on eggshells carefully to avoid seeing the narcissist wrap in their rage.
If you ever find yourself working for a narcissistic boss, please leave your job.
You will only ever be seen as a servant because they will never respect you.
Their emotional display well it’s really oscar worthy because it kicks you off the butt and they get the reaction out of you that they want. Which is to benefit them in some way.
From my own personal experience, I was once working with a narcissist. At the time I kind of had suspicions they were narcissistic but I didn’t think about it too much. When I innocently corrected them about something they forgot, all hell broke loose.
They sent me rude emails, they officially dismissed my services and called me out for purposely sabotaging their product launch.
Well in the meantime I was sat at my computer reading my emails like wtf just happened, chill your beans man. I didn’t reply for a while because I was very confused with what actually just happened.
I thought I was at fault and going crazy. That I missed something so I kindly replied telling the company it’s best we go our separate ways.
Then the grandiose messages come flooding in. Like the heartfelt messages about how important I was. I just closed my laptop, let out a long exhale and said oh no gracias thanks.
OTT emotions continued
In short, they use their negative emotions are used to trick others.
It usually works, if a guy kicks off in a restaurant because his steak is well done instead of rare, he is much more likely to get a meal for free.
Whereas someone who was kind and humble, nicely said, “I think you’ve overcooked my steak”. You may just get a chance to have it re-cooked and a very small apology.
You know that quote stopped making dumb people famous. Well, we need to change it to stop encouraging narcissists because if you retaliate with a narcissist you only ignite the fire.
You can’t reason with one, they will never ever respect you, your side of the story or even try to understand you.
You are best off just remaining silent and walking away.
Big scary emotions control the victim of a narcissist.
They tell you about your faults
Speaking again about the narcissistic experience I had above. My boss gave me a lot of reasons as to why I was a bad person.
I was like whoa dude you’ve really squeezed every single drop of juice out of this bs orange haven’t you matey.
When they become triggered and upset expect to hear 1000 reasons of how you did them wrong.
However, don’t pay attention to them it’s all in the bid to get you back playing the submissive role.
The narcissist will rarely ever apologize and if he does it’s only for some publicity stunt. They will always pass the blame onto sadly someone else.
They did this, why haven’t you?
You may hear the quote, they did this why haven’t you.
My mother makes me chicken soup when I’m hungry so why aren’t you making it for me.
Or my absolute personal favourite from a past toxic relationship that I was once in:
“My ex has a curvy figure have you ever considered surgery because I think you would look great”.
Ouch! They will compare you to other people to erode your confidence, to make you fall into submission and to live out every last of their commands.
If you ever hear this sentence, please please run away from them.
We have made it to the end of the video.
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Have an amazing day, see you soon!