16 Bad Habits That Destroy Your Confidence, Cause Low Self-Esteem & Ruin Your Motivation (STOP THIS)

16 Bad Habits That Destroy Your Confidence, Cause Low Self-Esteem & Ruin Your Motivation (STOP THIS)

We all know that confidence is key in many areas of our lives. From dating to getting a promotion at work. To be successful we need to have confidence in ourselves. No one is born confident, it is something that we learn and continue to work on throughout our lives.

This is why some of us appear to be more confident than others and why some guys seem to win over all the ladies. Whilst others find themselves stuck in a corner unable to speak to them. The trick to confidence is doing enough of the right things and as little of the bad things that can ruin your confidence. 

In today’s video I am going to tell you about the bad habits that can completely destroy your confidence. Remember, once you recognise a bad habit, you can overcome it! 

Bad habits that destroy your confidence

Using your phone at meals 

This is a huge no no especially if you are on a date with another person. Imagine how you would feel if you were on a date with someone and instead of speaking to you, they were using their phone.

It would leave you feeling ignored and your confidence would be super low. Well, when you use your phone like this not only does it make the other person’s confidence drop, but it also destroys your own confidence.

When you lack confidence, a phone can often feel like a lifeboat when you are in a situation that makes you nervous, it is your way out. In other people’s eyes, if you use your phone instead of talking to them, they will think you are a rude person.

After the date, they probably won’t contact you to do it again and your confidence will drop. If this happens repeatedly, you will have no confidence left.

The moral of the story is to keep your phone in your pocket during meals. 


We have all procrastinated or put things off. Maybe we have avoided phoning the doctors because we have been too nervous to use the phone, or we have avoided finishing a piece of work because we are worried it won’t be good enough.

In our minds, we might tell ourselves we are not doing it because we are lazy, but the truth is there is a deeper meaning here. When we are too nervous to phone the doctors, it is because we are not confident enough to do so.

When we are worried our work is not good enough, it is again because we don’t have the confidence to believe the work we produce is any good.

Procrastination links back to lack of confidence. If we stop procrastinating and just do it, we will think, why did I put it off for so long that it was easy? Or if you submit your piece of work and receive praise in return, your confidence will receive a boost.

If we procrastinate less, we will get more done and our confidence will grow. It’s a win – win. 

Setting unrealistic expectations 

Are you guilty of doing this? Unrealistic expectations can destroy your confidence.

Setting aspirational goals is one thing but having unrealistic expectations is something completely different. It is when you know something is probably not going to happen or be achievable, but you expect it to happen anyway.

A popular example of this is birthdays. Some people love birthdays whilst others dislike them. Normally the person who loves birthdays expects to be made a big fuss over. They might have a present they expect to be gifted or a cake they want made. When this doesn’t happen, it leaves them really upset and it knocks their confidence.

They start to believe they are not good enough or that people don’t love them. They are the ones however that set the expectation that all these things would happen. Which means their own unrealistic expectations have destroyed their confidence.

You can have unrealistic expectations of both yourself and other people. If this sounds familiar, then see what you can do to reset your expectations and start again. 

Saying yes to everything 

This is the behavior of a people pleaser.

Often people who say yes to absolutely everything lack the confidence to say no.

They fear the backlash or what people will think of them. So instead of dealing with that, they say yes to things they don’t even want to do.

At the beginning they might be ok, but it will eventually drain their energy and leave them burnt out, resentful and extremely low in confidence.

The more times you say no to the things you don’t want to do, the more confidence you will build. 

Binging social media 

Social media is great for all sorts of reasons, but it is a confidence killer.

Most social media users only post the great parts of their lives, it becomes a highlight reel.

When you binge social media, you find yourself comparing yourself to other people, their lives and things they own. This will only make you feel worse about yourself and will knock your confidence.

If you keep repeating this toxic cycle, you might even start feeling really down. Set yourself social media times to help you break the binging cycle and remember that everyone only posts the best bits!

Not exercising 

Exercise releases endorphins which do all sorts of wonderful things for you.

They increase your overall vibrancy, happiness levels and excitement. All of these things are positive and increase your confidence.

When you don’t exercise not only are you missing out on endorphins, but you may be left feeling bad about your body. Perhaps you don’t look like you would like to, which is very normal.

You can do things to help you feel better though and it all starts with exercising and healthy eating. 

Rushing things 

Rushing into relationships that never work out, rushing work that is always below par, rushing around in life and not being able to stop to smell the roses. I get it, life is busy but there is no need to rush.

Focus on creating a life that is based on the line ‘quality over quantity.’ Do less but in a better, more confident way. 

Dwelling in the past

The past is behind us. It’s time to focus on your future.

When you dwell on things that have happened in the past or mistakes you have made, you are setting yourself up for failure.

The truth is, you can’t change these mistakes or the things that have happened. What you do have control over is your future and how amazing it is going to be. 

Comparing yourself to others

We have all done this from time to time.

In fact, I would go as far as to say that it is impossible not to compare yourself to others. It’s important that you try and do it less. If you obsess about how amazing other people are compared to you, you are going to feel rubbish.

Everyone has something that someone else wants. Focus on yourself instead of others. 

Wanting something but not working for it 

Sometimes we want something really bad. Like a new job or to run a marathon. We want it so badly but yet we never get it because we don’t work for it.

If you want a new job, you need to actually apply for jobs and make sure you are qualified to do them. If you want to run a marathon, you need to train for it.

If you are not working for something it means you don’t really want it. 

Poor posture 

People who display great posture look more confident. It’s a fact!

When you see someone walking down the street with their back straight, neck up and shoulders slightly out, they catch your eye. If you see someone walking down the street slouching, it might make you think that they would be quite shy.

Your posture tells others so much about you so try to make sure you are at the very least standing up straight. 

Telling white lies

White lies are small lies that don’t have huge consequences to them. They are still lies though and can often play on your mind. When you are worried about being caught out, you become nervous which lowers your confidence and self-esteem.

Try to live a lie free life (even if the lie seems in-consequential). 

Giving in to fear

I get it, life can be scary sometimes. But if we always give into fear though, we will never truly live our lives.

If you are with a friend at a theme park and they suggest going on a roller coaster, you might feel fear. If you don’t go on the roller coaster with them, you will miss out on the great time they will talk about for ages.

If you do go on, you will get the endorphin rush, you will get to be a part of your friend’s memory, you will have an exciting time and you will have overcome the fear. You’ll get off the roller coaster a more confident person.

You need to overcome fear to grow. 

Having no boundaries 

Boundaries and saying no are crucial when it comes to building confidence.

If you don’t have boundaries, everyone in your life will take advantage of you.

When this happens, your confidence disappears. Is this something you want? Of course not!

It can be difficult to set boundaries and it is something a lot of people struggle with, but it needs to be done. 

Being too harsh with yourself 

Often, we can be our own best friend. It is good to build yourself up and it can really help your confidence. If you are never truthful with yourself though, you are not going to get very far. It’s not up to anyone else to tell you what to do or correct you when you are doing something wrong.

You need to be the one to do this. Sometimes it can be hard to tell yourself but in the long run, it is much better. 

Never taking a risk 

When risks pay off, they help build your confidence. If you fail or the risk doesn’t work out, you learn from it and come out more confident eventually. If you never take risks, you’ll never achieve everything you want to. 

Leave a Comment