Today we’re learning about how to talk to women over text, we’re going to be focusing on texting mistakes guys make! Don’t worry, plenty of men make these same mistakes! What’s important is learning what these texting mistakes are and adapting your own text game to overcome any of these issues.
Keep in mind these texting rules are adaptable to all sorts of messaging with a girl. Be it facebook messenger, instagram, twitter, tinder, snap chat, whatsapp – and all those other social media bits and bobs!
Texting Mistakes When Talking To Women
Do any of you remember back in the days when we didn’t have the technology to text or message people? If we liked someone, we had to talk to them face to face. Or even worse, we had to phone them!
Now we may meet someone eventually face to face if it progresses that far. The majority of the initial contact though is now through technology. Mostly over texting, messaging or facetime (which has replaced phoning). This means that guys, you now need more than traditional dating tips. Although these still need to be used and are very helpful for face to face dates. You also need to know how to communicate over text.
Today’s video is all about texting mistakes guys commonly make. By me telling you what they are, you should know to avoid them, instantly making you more successful with the ladies.
Why is it important to learn about texting mistakes?
As I mentioned at the beginning of this video, it is very important to learn how to text a lady because it’s a skill we all have to use now. It’s also important though because of how different it is from traditional forms of communication.
Normally, if you are on a date with someone, you can look at their facial expressions and body language. From this, you call tell, if they are enjoying themselves, if they are flirting with you or if they want to leave. This is without them even saying a word. We can tell a lot more from being around someone.
Hands up if you have ever interpreted an email or text message in the wrong way?! We all have. It naturally happens because you can’t see the other person. All you can read are their words. You can’t hear the excitement in their voice or a smile on their face. You can interpret words in so many different ways which makes it difficult to pick up on how the other person is feeling.
As an example a text message saying:
I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.
Can be interpreted as, ‘I’ll try to come tomorrow but I might still be sick’ or ‘I’ll see if I can be bothered tomorrow’.
Two very different meanings. You see not only can we not see the other person but our brains naturally read between the lines. We very rarely read the words for what they are. Our brains animate them with personality and tone. So depending on the impression you have been giving to the person via text will depend on what tone your brain gives that message.
This makes it very difficult when you have never met in real life. You don’t really know that person at all. So you are not sure if that’s how they just speak naturally or if they are not that interested in you.
This is why it’s so important to learn about texting mistakes guys make so that when texting a lady, who already has all of this going on, you can make a good impression and stand out in the crowd.
The three-day rule
Once upon a time, someone made up a rule that you should wait 3 day’s to text someone first. I remember when someone first told me the rule, I believed them and stuck to it religiously before thinking ‘wow, what am I doing’. I ditched the rule and everyone else has as well. We no longer live in a slow technological world. Technology is constantly evolving and with it so are we. Instant messenger implies in its name that we should be messaging people quickly!
If a girl has given you her number, make sure to get back in touch within 24 hours of receiving it. She may have forgotten who you are within 3 days or things that you are not really very interested in her.
Start with a light text, re-introducing yourself. Something like “Hello, It’s Luke from the party last night, it was so nice to meet you, did you get home ok?”. This is a great first text, it shows that you care about her safety, you remembered her and enjoyed meeting her.
Asking her name
It does not matter how you have met this lady. Whether it was via a dating app, at a party or on social media. Never text her and ask her name! You should know who you are texting. If you do this she will feel really unimportant and rejected. She might not even reply! Instead, hold off texting her until you have found out her name.
Ask friends or find her again on the dating app and then message her and mention her name.
Texting back to quickly
It can be hard to not just instantly reply. Especially if you think of texting like a conversation. It’s not a good idea though. Yea, it comes across as desperate and clingy. More importantly though when you text back too quickly, you are not thinking through what you are saying, you have not been thoughtful in your replies and you may use spelling mistakes.
Instead take some time to formulate a reply, write it carefully and check for spelling. When the lady receives your message she will think, wow he has really thought this through. It will also mean that your conversation is more interesting. Something a high-value lady loves.
Don’t lose your sense of fun over text. Girls love someone who is fun and funny. If you have met the lady before and you were fun, she will want you to maintain that vibe over text. If you have not met face to face before then you want her to have a sense of who you are prior to meeting face to face. You want her to really want to meet you and get to know you.
So try and keep the texts fun, light and interesting. Maybe something really funny happened at work, tell her the story over text and animate it with emojis. She will love the effort you have put in.
Now, guys, I am sure none of you would be inappropriate and that you are all gentlemen but I do have to mention this. A huge turn off for all ladies is when guys are inappropriate via text. This especially applies to ladies you have never met before. When you first start messaging a lady, keep things PG. It’s hard to flirt over text so first form a relationship based on fun conversations and learning about each other. You can move on to flirting later.
Don’t send her inappropriate pictures or make inappropriate jokes. When you get to the flirting stage, try and keep it mysterious. This will keep with PG and drive the lady wild!
Asking for a date too early
This is a big one guys. Don’t ask for a date during your first text conversation. Wait until it is an appropriate time. I would suggest waiting 2-3 weeks before asking for a date especially if you met via a dating app. It gives you both time to get to know each other before the meeting! That way on the date, you will already know some things you can discuss and you will feel more connected to each other.
Send text an appropriate length
There is an art to learning what length a text should be. Short texts are almost like a full stop and put an end to any conversation. Long paragraphs of texts become too intense and too serious. Your texts should be somewhere in the middle. They should have some value in them but not be essays. Three sentences would be the perfect length. A girl loves it when a guy puts an effort into the messages he is sending and this type of length shows that. While also avoiding being too intense and hey guys, it saves you time! Of course sometimes you may have more in-depth conversations which require a longer message. As a rule of thumb, 2-3 sentences in the optimum length.
So now you know what mistakes to avoid when texting a girl. I hope you enjoyed the video today!