When it comes to flirting and attracting someone while dating, there are some key things you need to pay attention to.
Flirting is not just about how you talk to people with pick up lines. It’s about how you connect with them emotionally. How you use your body language carefully paying attention to the cues they give off.
The full transcript of this video is available below.
Successful attraction is achieved when, 2 people feel sexually triggered and are comfortable with one another. If you are flirting too much, people assume that you are only out for one night stands.
If you don’t ramp up that sexual energy then well, you will get friend-zoned. So if you want to know the secret tips and tricks all about flirting then stay tuned.
My name is Anna and have a beautiful day.
Nail your first impression
The first thing that you have to do is to nail and I mean it, your first impression. Sadly despite the saying that people deserve second chances it’s actually true that when we have made our initial decision on someone we will not change it unless we really are forced to change it.
The first impression is normally judged upon someone’s appearance. Not how attractive they are but their overall demeanour.
Do you look approachable? Make sure you’re not looking down at your phone, unfold your arms and don’t be staring around the room. If you can maintain eye contact during that first impression you come across confident and very much available.
Obviously, this also includes dressing smart and looking good on arrival. A stereotype is when our brains adds in missing information to make an overall judgment and assumption about someone.
You could walk into a fancy business meeting wearing your pyjamas, now everyone will assume that you don’t respect the company, that you are lazy or that you don’t care about making money. You could even be sacked!
There might be a reason why you’ve turned up to a business meeting wearing your pyjamas that other people don’t know.
The overall analogy here is when a person is given information the brain fills in the guesswork on a baseline of stereotypes.
Sadly those were created when society decided that we should all be fitted inside a pigeonhole. Use this to your advantage. If you turn up to date, your body language is very slumpy and you don’t look like you are dressed for the occasion. The other person that you are on a date with is going to naturally fill in those blanks. They will make a snap judgment about you and your behaviour including what it would actually be like to date you.
This is why first impressions are very important so really do nail them.
Use non-verbal cues
The second thing you have to do is to use some non-verbal cues. When it comes to attracting a woman you have to remember that she is an emotional creature. She wants to work out the emotional availability of a guy as soon as she can.
In a flash, she is gonna know who you are based on your actions and how you choose to communicate. Using things you aren’t actually saying.
Some great ways to start flirting, are to actually look like you are interested. Without actually saying, wow you’re interesting! You should team this up with some strong eye contact. Don’t forget to tilt your head just ever so slightly to the side. This shows that you are really interested in the same conversation topics.
You could lean in a little bit but remember, we lean away from people we are repulsed by. This is because we don’t want to enter into that person’s personal circle. If you do this in a flirting situation though you are letting the other person know that you are interested.
Not only that, it lets someone know that you are emotionally & sexually available and that you are attracted to them. You have to go into the circle, come out of the circle and do whatever head nodding. Make it look like you really care about that person. Be friendly at the same time and then voila you have a great base for dating.
Mirror their movements.
When you understand what mimicry is, you will notice that lots of people actually do it on a daily basis. Mimicry is when you copy someone else’s body movement or the way that they are sitting or standing because you feel a connection with them.
You will notice this around your family members and you will naturally pick up on each other’s movements. Subconsciously copying them.
It is true when it comes to flirting. When someone realises that they are having their actions copied by someone else, it makes them feel comfortable (if they like it).
If they don’t like them, they may be very insecure about it.
Notice she’s copying your body movement? It could be a sign that she is emotionally attracted to you.
Some of the ways that you can do this are just to nod your head and take a sip of your drink. Then see if she copies you. Then switch it around and copy her ever so slightly on a subconscious level. This is activating her sexual brain and she will really start picking up on your body language.
Make her laugh
This is really going to help you in the flirting game. It’s very important you make her laugh. Women naturally laugh at those that they find attractive because it’s a sign they feel comfortable. If you were trying to get her to see you as a potential date well get her laughing!
It not only raises the energy but it removes the awkwardness. It also lets her know that you guys have a bond worth building.
So that she thinks, “if I date this guy, it’s going to be pretty awesome. Even on the stressful days, he really makes me laugh.”
Don’t worry if you are struggling, we do have a video on how to be funny. The video uses a variety of different types of humour so you can find something for your flirting book.
Reach out and touch her
Reach out there and touch her. Flirting is all about building sexual energy and having fun. So if you’re not doing just that you are essentially friend-zoning yourself, my friend!
Now you want to touch the other person in a slightly intimate way but not in a creepy way. The first touch lets that other person know that you have broken that personal boundary. Depending on how they react, you will know if you can continue flirting. Or if you should go away in case they slap you around the face.
Providing everything went okay there are three places that you can actually touch someone. It could be her hand, her head or her hips. May I suggest you don’t go straight for the hips? This could be a little bit too sexual, too soon.
You need to find a way to incorporate touch into your conversations. Touch a lady’s shoulder and talk about her handbag for example. Start by saying wow that colour actually looks really good, it goes with your shoes, teach me your ways!
Alternatively, grab her wrist or tap her slightly when you’re trying to get her attention. Like when you ask a question for example.
If she says something sincere you can squeeze her hand to just say wow that really moved me.
Master who you are
Master who you are and just be confident. Now I get it, it’s so easy, for dating coaches to say just be yourself, it’s good enough. However, if you don’t think that you are the best version of yourself and you really doubt yourself. You aren’t really gonna get anywhere now, are you?
What dating coaches actually mean is that you need to feel good with the person that you are right now. So that you know what you have to offer in a relationship. As soon as you show up in a flirting situation and the other person sees you as being confident and shamelessly just being you, that is what makes you attractive.
Why not embrace your crazy embarrassing hobbies? You could say, “I know it sounds ridiculous and very weird but I’ve had this hobby since I was a seven-year-old boy and you know what I really like them”.
The fact that you can own it shows you have uber confidence and this is what dating coaches are talking about. These people shamelessly just being them.
One last thing
This teamed up with the other points in the video is enough for a woman to really think, you know what he’s not ashamed of who he is, embarrassing hobbies and all. Let’s be honest here guys no one is going to want to date you unless you give them reasons to date you.
If you don’t feel that you are good enough to date a woman, remember she’s very emotionally intelligent.
She’s gonna pick up on this and she’s gonna think why should I want to date you?
Thank you for getting to the end of the video, it really means a lot. Something you could do to really make my day is to subscribe to our membership on our YouTube channel.
I really hope you have an amazing day, see you next time.