Confidence. Your confidence and how other people perceives you can have a massive effect on your dating game and your ability to get a girlfriend. What does confidence mean? How can you tell if you lack confidence? How do you gain confidence? In case you hadn’t guessed it yet, today’s video is all about confidence! We’re going to be discussing the social science, psychology & body language secrets of confidence and how you can tell if you lack confidence.
The definition of confidence is feeling or showing confidence in oneself or one’s abilities or qualities. Confidence comes naturally to some people and they’re not so easily to others. Some men don’t realize that they actually do lack confidence. In fact, people might often tell them that they are noticeably confident or extroverted through their actions though and without realizing it they are showing that they lack confidence.
So, if you are watching this video and you are thinking hmm how do I know if I lack confidence or if I am a confident person. Well, I’m here to help you out in today’s video I’m going to be telling you about some hidden signs and these signs are things that men might not even realize they are doing but proves that they lack confidence.
Signs a man lacks confidence
You apologise for simply living
If someone bumped into you in the street, are you the first to apologise? Even though they are the one who walked into you? If so you might need to work on your self-confidence. You should wait for them to say I’m sorry in future.
Over apologising is often something we learn in childhood, but it comes from not having a lot of confidence. Maybe you were bullied when you were younger? Or your older brother always got you in trouble and you spent all your time saying sorry.
These are habits that you need to unlearn and break before they become toxic. You will grow to learn that you don’t have to say sorry for existing.
Anything that happens to you, you claim as luck
You have most likely worked extremely hard to be where you are today so don’t think it was just luck that got you that promotion at work or scored you that goal in the football game.
Having worked hard you deserve to be proud of yourself. You don’t need to claim it as luck, you should own your achievements.
Try telling a close friend about something you have achieved. Doing this will help you stop thinking of it as luck and starting to realise that it is your hard work that gets you to where you are.
You often buy things you don’t actually like
Do you buy clothes because other people tell you that you look good in them? Or you’re working hard to get towards a goal that isn’t really your goal?
Look at yourself and think what do you want to wear? What do I really want to do in my life?
Drop whatever you think other people want and focus on you. At the end of the day, it’s not their life, it’s yours. You need to live it your way.
You spend a lot of time in your room
Do you hate being around other people? Scared of bumping into your flatmate and making that awkward ‘how was your day’ chat?
Sometimes it’s good to get out of your comfort zone and force a conversation. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in your own head and not be able to focus on your own goals. When you step outside practise being more confident, it rubs off and helps you develop increased confidence.
You have one really strange habit
Many people with anxiety or low self-esteem suffer from little ticks that get worse with stress.
We’ve all got something we do to deal with stress but make sure you don’t let the ticks take over and that you can keep them under control.
Try writing down how you’re feeling in a journal or make a list of everything that is stressing you out so that you can get them out of your head.
You spend time with people you don’t like
If you don’t like people you don’t have to keep them in your life. Never burn a bridge but it is okay to drive a different route.
Everyone loses friends or grows out of friendships, it’s a natural part of life. We also will encounter people that we don’t like or get on with. This is ok because we don’t need to like everyone. We can simply be polite and move on.
The same goes for settling for a girlfriend that you don’t really like. She showed an interest in you and you are too nervous to upset her, so you go along with it. This is not going to end well and much like spending time with people you don’t like, you need to be polite, break it off and move on.
You nap a lot during the day and then stay up all night
Social pressures and stress can wreak havoc on a healthy sleep pattern. Try to keep an eye on how much sleep you’re getting and when you’re going to bed because this can be a sign that you might need to speak to someone.
A great way to get ready for sleep is to keep your phone away from your bed and not see your screen for ½ an hour before bed.
After you have had sex…you leave
Maybe you don’t feel confident that she wants to stick around and chat so you leave before she can.
The chances are that if you’ve just had sex then they’re into you and want to get to know you better! Girls find it hurtful when a man leaves after they have had sex. They will think that all you wanted was a one-night stand.
You don’t want her to think this of course so stick around and make an effort to chat or go for coffee. It could lead to another date or even a relationship.
You constantly check your phone for messages
This can look really rude to other people if they don’t know you’re feeling anxious. Keep your hands in your pockets or hold a drink to give your hands something to do to distract yourself from checking your phone all the time.
Make the time to chat and ask questions. Engage with those around you and you might just find that you have a really great time. Each time you do this, your confidence will grow.
You tell silly lies
This is a typical sign that you are suffering from low self-esteem. People want to know the real you and not the you you’ve created.
Men who lack confidence often make up lies because they want to make their life look better than it is. You probably have a great life and people would be really interested in hearing about it.
The chances are that they’ll catch on quickly if you continue to lie and they won’t like you for it. Other people don’t tend to like liars even if you only did it because you were a little nervous.
It’s easier to tell the truth than keep up a web of lies and that way you will have far more friends.
You can never pick a place to eat
It can be hard to decide, I get it! Picking somewhere to eat can often be the hardest decision to make, especially if other people are involved. How do you pick somewhere that everyone will like? And why is it up to you?
The truth is we all have to make decisions in life and sometimes we have to be confident to make them with other people around them. Someone might not like the decision you have made but all you need to think is, well they should have made the decision then!
It helps if you can try to put three names in a hat and pick one. If you don’t want to go there then take the name out of the hat and try again. You’ll quickly know where you really want to go. This is a useful trick for all sorts of challenges in life.