In today’s video we’re going to be discussing attraction! What makes someone attractive? What do other people find attractive? What makes a person likeable?
We’ll look at what matters to people and what actually makes a difference when it comes to attracting someone, whether it be physically, using psychology, body language and the law of attraction.
Have you ever wondered why you are so attracted to some people but then not to others?
Being attractive is more than what you look like on the outside, although we still might be attracted to someone immediately because of their looks, it’s their personality that really matters.
So, what makes a person attractive? In today’s video I’m going to tell you about the law of attraction and what makes a person attractive. And once you understand this you will think ah that’s why I always end up with that type of person.
What makes a person attractive
What is the law of attraction
The law of attraction is when you attract the right people, opportunities, and ideas into your life through the power of positive thoughts.
You might be thinking, what? That is not a thing. It has been proven to work though.
If you think about everything that you want. Including the type of person, you would like to share your life with, be specific and do this often then it can help these things come into your life.
It is believed, that when you start to think about these things, you subconsciously start to work on getting them.
So, it might feel like these things start to just arrive into your life but actually you have been working towards them.
For example, if you had been thinking about the type of person you wanted to date and about their personality and looks, subconsciously you might start to spend more time in places that type of person would.
It might be the gym. You join a gym because you want to get fit. Subconsciously though it is because you are more likely to meet your dream partner there.
You start going weekly and one day you start talking to that person. You might not realize it, but this is the power of the law of attraction at work.
If you can control your thoughts, you can shape your life.
It’s not just about thinking about what they look like but also about their personality.
Start asking yourself, what kind of person are they? This can help you start to think about what makes a person attractive.
Now let’s look at what specific things make a person attractive. Some of these things might surprise you.
When you are close to them
The more time you spend with someone, the more attractive they can become.
A common example of this is co-workers.
I am sure we all know a couple that worked together before they started dating. They might have worked together for years and have never looked at each other in a romantic way.
Then one day something switches, and they start to find everything they do attractive.
This often happens with celebrities that end up working on movies together, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are examples of this. After working together on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith, they dated and eventually had a family together.
Even though they did get divorced, if they had not worked together, they would not have ended up being together at all.
The more exposure you have to someone, the more likely you are to both become attracted to that person.
So, if you have someone you think you might like, start spending more time with them, even if for now it is only as friends and just see where things go.
Using your hands
Studies have shown that if someone has their hands in their pockets or hidden, we have trouble trusting them.
Hands are especially important to us when it comes to attraction.
One reason why you find another person attractive, or they find you attractive could be because of where they have their hands.
If they have their hands clearly on show, you will instantly trust them more. Displaying hand gestures like open palms or putting your hands on a table in a restaurant are great ways of doing this.
When they look healthy and for woman, fertile
This one is more based on looks.
Looking healthy applies to both men and women.
We are more likely to be attracted to someone who clearly takes care of themselves. They might work out or just have flawless skin.
You will be able to tell if they are healthy straight away.
We have always looked for partners that ‘look healthy.’ This dates back to the cavemen when if your partner was not healthy, you did not eat and survive. Our brains are still wired in this way.
Men also look for signs of fertility when it comes to which women they find attractive.
Men are normally attracted to younger women specifically of childbearing age and to women who have ‘childbearing’ hips.
Being ‘hot’ is not enough when it comes to being attractive.
No one wants to date a hot person who has zero personality.
As humans we get bored easily and due to the rise of social media, it is only getting worse.
We want to date interesting people who have great personalities. They have hobbies, interests and are easy to talk to.
We will often find them attractive according to what they are interested in and if we deem that to be attractive personally. We want to be with someone that will be exciting to be around.
Our environment tells us
We all find certain things attractive.
We might like someone who reads or has blonde hair.
It’s not all up to us though, a large amount of what we like is actually influenced by the outside world.
That is our family, friends, work, and media. If we have grown up surrounded by certain types of people, we will most likely be attracted to that type of person.
The media is playing a larger part by showing us who we should be attracted to. With the rise of influencers, we might find someone that looks that attractive. Or we might find a certain celebrity that the media is painting in a bad light, unattractive.
We are often attracted to people that mirror our parents. If it is a girl she might find someone who is like her dad attractive. If it is a man, he might look for someone that is similar to his mum.
Our environment has the power to influence who we find attractive and once we realize this, we start to think carefully about our environment.
Your personality tells you who you are attracted to
Take a moment to think about your own personality.
Are you bubbly? Kind? Intelligent? Quiet?
Our personalities tell us a lot about who we find attractive. If we are quiet, we might go for someone who is also quiet because that is the kind of person we like to spend time with.
If we are very confident, we might want a partner who mirrors this. The opposite can also be true.
Sometimes if we are really confident, we want someone quieter because we would rather stay the center of attention.
Normally we pick someone who displays similar behavior to us because then we don’t have to change them or change our behavior. Sometimes though, we want someone opposite to us because it just makes sense.
Studies have shown that men with higher levels of testosterone (the male sex hormone) were more attractive to women with more feminine faces. Which typically meant sharper jaw lines and bigger eyes.
A study was also conducted on women which proved that they find different types of men attractive according to the stage of their cycle. Depending on which stage of their cycle they were on changed whether that wanted men who seemed to be ‘short-term’ partners or ‘long-term’ partners.
Short term partners were often more confident and cocky. Longer term partners were kind and liked to listen. Our hormones control who we find attractive more than we probably realized.
We often find someone attractive when they mirror our body language.
If they start saying similar things to us or even picking up their glass at the same time we pick up ours, we are likely to find them attractive.
In one study, men rated women as more attractive when they mirrored their nonverbal behavior during speed dating. It’s also considered more attractive if the mirroring happens naturally and is not overdone.