It can be hard when you really like someone, but they don’t seem to want you.
Even though you think you are doing everything you can, nothing seems to be working. You wish you could wave a magic wand and skip to the point where you are both on a date.
Unfortunately, it is not quite that easy, but I do have something that will make it easier for you to make someone want you.
The things I am so excited to tell you about today were proven in a psychological study by M.Gary Neuman. Are you ready for some scientifically proven things you can do that will make someone want you?
How To Make Someone Want You
Make them feel appreciated and special
The first thing that is scientifically proven to make someone want you is to simply make them feel appreciated and special.
Sometimes we are focused on impressing a person so much that all we do is talk about ourselves. We forget to really focus on the other person.
You can make someone feel special by paying them a compliment, listening to what they have to say or doing something bigger like taking them out for a really nice dinner.
The same goes for appreciation, we often forget to tell people that we are trying to impress, that we really appreciate them being a part of our lives or that we appreciate them going on a date with us.
Just saying this to someone can go such a long way. It can make them see you in a different light or think to themselves “that is the kind of person I want to be with”.
Listen to what they say and show interest in them
This one might seem like common sense, but people always forget about it.
Again it’s because we get so swept up in making an impression that we forget to listen and ask questions about the other person.
Instead of diving right into talking about yourself, start by asking about the other person.
Ask them about their interests, passion, their job, family and friends. Listen to what they answer and try to remember anything important they have said.
They might mention for example that their best friend is getting married in a few weeks. If you remember this then you can ask them about the wedding before they mention it to you.
This shows them that you listened and that you care about them.
Don’t underestimate how powerful showing an interest in someone and listening to what they have to say is.
Always maintain eye contact
Eye contact is so important. It can mean so many things and it’s one of the main ways humans communicate.
Of course, we also speak and use our body language, but eye contact is another important form of communication.
Looking someone in the eye often shows that you are listening to what they are saying, engaged and you are taking what they are saying seriously.
A quick look or wink across the bar can be flirty. Looking at someone that has their back to you can grab their attention because they can sense someone is looking at them so they turn around. Do you see what I mean by there are a lot of ways to make eye contact?
If you want someone to want you then maintaining eye contact and using eye contact is really important.
Try to look your best
Dressing up because you know your ex is going to be at a party is not the only reason you should try to look your best.
If you want someone to want you then you need to attract them.
Personal Hygiene is the first part, making sure your hair is cut and neat, you have shaved or trimmed your beard and that you are wearing deodorant and fresh clothes.
The second part is working out so that you can look your best.
I am not talking about becoming a bodybuilder but doing something to stay active so that you have the body you want is advisable.
Eating well is also important if you want to look your best. Don’t just eat takeaways and junk food, instead try to eat a balanced diet and of course treat yourself sometimes!
Finally, a huge part of looking your best is dressing well. Make sure you have a wardrobe of clothes you feel comfortable in.
They should match your style and the way you like to dress but be clean, tidy and match the event. For example, don’t wear some shorts and a top to a fancy dinner date, try instead to wear a buttoned up shirt, nice trousers and some nice shoes.
Spending a few more minutes really thinking about what you are wearing will make a big difference to how attractive people find you and how much someone wants you.
Embrace what the other person is interested in
I have a friend who always becomes invested in the interests of the person she is dating.
If they like to play rugby for example, she will learn everything about it and go to every game.
Someone once pointed this out to her and made it sound like a bad thing. I explained to her that it was actually a good thing because it showed she cared about what the person she was dating.
When we care about someone we love what they love and that includes their interests!
We find what they do interesting, and we want to learn more. On the flip side you want to be with someone who also shows an interest in your interests so make sure they do!
Mirror what they do
Mirroring someone is something we all do and have done before.
We might find ourselves mirroring their body language like when they pick up a glass we do as well.
Another way we can mirror someone is through our words, we can pick up slang they use or even mirror the way they speak. Why do we do this? Well, it’s simple, we are attracted to people who are similar to us (sometimes opposites don’t attract!).
If someone is behaving in a similar way to us our brains pick up on it and immediately start to realize hormones which tell you that you like them.
Mirroring someone can seriously increase your chances of making them want you, why not give it a go next time?
Smile a lot
Smiling makes you more attractive! It also makes you appear more friendly, welcoming, and approachable which is what you want if you are trying to make someone want you.
If someone was sitting in a corner, looking angry all the time then you wouldn’t approach them. If someone was sitting in the corner smiling though you are more likely to approach them. It’s something you might forget to do if you are nervous but if you are really wanting to win someone over then you need to smile more and smile when you are around them.
It will show them that you are actually approachable.
Touch them more often
Using touch can help you stay out of the friendzone. If you are being nice to them, listening to what they have to say, showing an interest in their passions then it can be easy for them to get the wrong end of the stick and friendzone you.
Touching them even quickly shows them that what is going on between you is more romantic than a friendship and that helps them think about you a little differently.
It can be a quick touch on the shoulder, a hug after a date or even holding hands.
If they know you want them romantically then they will be more open to wanting you romantically.
Are you the person they need?
You like someone and you want them to want you, it’s understandable and most people have been through it before.
If you try everything though and invest a lot of time into them and they still seem not to be interested, you need to ask yourself, are you the person they need?
They might be the person you need or want at the moment but they might be in a completely different place. Perhaps they are looking for a one night stand when you want something a little more serious or maybe in their minds, you have already been friendzoned.
It’s harsh but true and sometimes you need to take a step back and ask yourself, am I the person they need? If no, move on and find someone who does need you.