We’ve all been there, at the bar on a Friday night scanning the room for a pretty lady to talk to. You spot one and a wave of apprehension washes over you. You’re unsure if it’s ok to approach her and initiate a conversation.
She’s out on a Friday night, surely she’ll want to socialise and meet new people, right? Why else would she be out?
It’s the age-old question; what do women want? And honestly, sometimes I don’t think women know what they want themselves. Could be one thing, could be another. Who knows?
For you guys, it can be difficult to navigate yourself without treading on eggshells.
But fear not, we’ve had a look into it for you and managed to pinpoint some ways for you to see the signs of a woman who is open to meeting new people and is waiting for you to approach her and make the first move.
Guide to approaching women
There’s nothing more confusing for girls when they are out with their girlfriends and they notice a guy across the bar, and they are trying to figure out if you have noticed her too or if you are interested in another girl.
Fellas, make eye contact with her from across the room to let her know you see her. A few glances here and there whilst you’re chatting to your friends and sipping your drink, and if she’s glancing back then you’re in the clear and over you go to introduce yourself.
Maintaining eye contact whilst you’re initiating a conversation is a must for anybody, especially to a woman who you’ve just met and are interested in.
Holding eye contact whilst she talks tells her that she has your undivided attention.
You’re fully engaged in the conversation and are interested in what she is talking about.
It’s a bonus if you have nice eyes because she will be swooning at the sight of them!
Open body language
It’s no secret that women can be incredibly intimidated by men they don’t know.
Often women dread being approached by a random guy who could turn be a creepy guy that just doesn’t take the hint to go away. Or worse, a serial killer.
One way that you can assure her that she isn’t being approached by that guy is by opening up your body language before and as you approach her.
Things like having your arms by your sides and your shoulders down and back symbolise that you’re confident in yourself and you’re relaxed.
Women love a confident man, especially if they’re not as confident in themselves. Having someone take control of the situation can be very calming and almost freeing to some.
When you’re talking to her try to keep your arms by your sides and away from your chest. Subconsciously you’re trying to tell her that you’re open to new conversations. Being closed off isn’t on your mind, but your arms could be telling her different. An open chest symbols an open mind.
In addition to the previous point of open body language, it’s really important to try and read her body language before you approach her.
Try to make sure you are in her eye line and that she’s noticed you before you approach her. This prevents any surprise attacks that could scare her or pop-ups that she may not want before you’ve even had a chance to introduce yourself.
You will be able to know by her face and her body language if she’s intrigued by your approach or if she wants you to go away.
Look out for her body turning towards you and her shoulders relaxing – this is a great sign, does she have a smile on her face? Subconsciously she is inviting you to join her and start up a conversation!
When speaking to a lady, try to make sure there is a little physical distance between the two of you. This will prevent her from feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable.
Everybody has their personal space boundaries. Although it’s hard to judge how big or small they are when first meeting, it is better to be safe than sorry by underestimating this and scarring her off.
Having a bit of distance between the two of you also prevents the feeling of you talking down to her if you’re taller than her and looking down. First impressions are everything and that is the last thing you want to make it look like.
You’re never fully dressed without a smile!
Once you’ve established eye contact and made the connection with her, a small smile may appear on her lips when she realizes you’ve noticed her too and you’re going to approach her. Make sure you smile back!
A smile is a warm welcome and is also contagious, she will mirror your smile without even knowing.
A smile also lets her know that you’re friendly and have good intentions when entering her personal space.
Be careful not to smile too big, it could come across as creepy.
Manners are extremely important when you interact with anybody, they are vital when making a great first impression.
They will tell a woman how you were raised and how you view other people around you.
It says a lot about you and how you view yourself. Those who think they are more important and above others tend to talk down to people, as if they’re not worthy of human decency.
When you first interact with a woman, manners should be at the forefront of your mind.
How you speak to her, your hand gestures and how you speak to those around her will all be taken into consideration when deciding if she wants to speak to you more, and if she wants to arrange to see you again – a second date!!
Here are some ways you can display your manners when first meeting:
- Introduce yourself – sounds quite simple but can sometimes be overlooked. ‘Hey, I’m Tom, it’s so nice to meet you, what’s your name?” Something simple to initiate a conversation. It also leaves out all the creepy flirting one-liners that women expect to hear from men at the bar.
- Say please and thank you. If you’re out in public and need to order anything from a server, make sure you use your please and thank you’s. Trust me, her ears are peeled waiting for this one and it’s a huge no if you don’t use them. People are just doing their jobs, why wouldn’t you be polite to them?
- Small gestures – if you’re going to dinner with a lady for the first time, pull out her chair for her. It’s a very small gesture but it means a lot to her. It shows her you’re a gentleman and your manners are top-notch.
You could also ask if she wants you to order for her as some people have anxiety about public speaking. Don’t be deterred if she says no, women are also confident and can order for themselves if they want to.
Not as complicated as you thought in the beginning, is it?
There are small gestures and habits that women will do when they’re thinking to themselves why won’t he come over and speak to me? I’m shy! Come over already! Without actually wanting to say anything.
So, when you’re next out and about and you spot a cutie that you want to introduce yourself to, start with a smile and then look out for these signs to see if she mirrors your smile and displays open body language.
You know you’re in if she does, and then you can make your move without the fear of being rejected. It’s a win-win!