Do you feel like sometimes you’re just too nice and no one appreciates it? It can often seem like the nice guys in the world always finish last when it comes to romance and dating.
Whilst being nice is a great quality, it often doesn’t score you many points with the ladies.
Today’s video is going to go through thirteen of the biggest ‘nice guy’ mistakes that you can make with a girl. Be sure to avoid these mistakes and you will massively increase your chances of success in the dating world.
Biggest nice guy mistakes
Nice Guys Share Their Feelings Too Soon
A major flaw of the stereotypical nice guy is oversharing. A nice guy will typically go into a date with all guns blazing, pouring out their hearts to their crush in hopes that it’ll win their affection.
But this kind of behaviour usually has the opposite effect on women. If you start outright confessing all your feelings to a woman, you lose that edge of mystery, and your relationship dynamic will inevitably lose its spark.
So be sure to share your feelings gradually and never fall into the trap of oversharing.
Nice Guys Are Boring
We hate to say it, but nice guys are simply just boring to be around.
Nice guys ask boring, basic questions. They take girls on boring, predictable dates and then are surprised when a girl isn’t interested in them.
To stand out, you have to be different. Don’t ask her stereotypical questions on your first date, ask her questions which really get her thinking. Take her on a date which will stand out in her memory and get her adrenaline going.
Beware of falling into the ‘boring, nice guy’ category!
Nice Guys Compliment Too Much
Sure, it’s nice to let a girl know when she’s looking good or when you admire something she’s done – but don’t overdo it.
Compliments can actually lose their value when they are always being said without a second thought. In order for your kind words to actually mean something, they have to be said infrequently and genuinely.
Nice guys fall into the trap of thinking that girls just want to be told how beautiful they are all the time – they don’t! A girl will most likely hear this A LOT! Don’t add to the noise.
Be strategic with your compliments!
Nice Guys Check in A Lot
Nice guys have an unfortunate tendency to ‘check in’ far too much with their crush.
This could look like constantly asking her if she’s ok or if she is enjoying herself when she’s out with you.
It could also look like sending her regular texts throughout the day to see how she is or ask her what she’s up to.
This can make girls feel uncomfortable and be a major turn off when they’re spending time with you. A girl will let you know if she isn’t okay! Constantly asking her and checking in with her is suffocating and makes you come across as weird and needy.
Of course, it’s good to check in with her if she seems like she may be uncomfortable or not feeling well, but don’t be overbearing.
Nice Guys Apologize Too Much
Nice guys say sorry way too much!
Again, it is good to have manners and be respectful – but this doesn’t mean you should be excessively apologising for things that don’t warrant an apology.
You shouldn’t be constantly in fear of potentially offending or disagreeing with a woman. It can actually create chemistry when you tease her every now and then.
Saying sorry a lot makes you look submissive, nervous, and weak which isn’t an attractive quality. Only say sorry when the situation requires it!
Nice Guys Seek a Girl’s Approval
Nice guys will always be looking for a female’s approval and validation, but this is another big mistake.
Nice guys do absolutely anything to win a girl over, even if that means crossing their boundaries or losing their self-respect in the process.
This doesn’t attract women and it makes you look a little pathetic.
Don’t censor your true self in the name of trying to impress a woman, there will be a girl out there who appreciates you exactly as you are.
Nice Guys Don’t Speak Up When It Counts
A nice guy won’t speak when it matters.
Nice guys often fail to let a girl know that they find her sexually attractive. Instead, you’ll find them dropping weird hints or avoiding the subject altogether.
A girl wants to be the object of your desire and she wants to know that you want her! Sometimes this means telling her explicably.
Nice guys are often so afraid of being rejected that they don’t broach this topic at all – red flag! Let her know how you’re feeling!
Nice Guys Are Too Afraid of Losing the Girl
Nice guys are often so happy that they’re on a date with their crush that they are simultaneously afraid of the possibility of losing her.
This means they have zero boundaries and let women walk-all-over them. Whilst this might appeal to women in the short term, eventually they’ll grow tired and lose all respect for any man who behaves like this.
Never sacrifice your dignity for a crush, you’ll only end up paying the price for this later down the road.
It is ok (and actually necessary) to say no sometimes. It is also important that you never lose your true self in the process of dating someone.
There are billions of women in the world, don’t stress yourself over one.
Nice Guys Are Needy
Nice guys almost always come across as being needy.
Don’t act as if your whole world depends on her adoration and approval, it is very unattractive.
Women don’t want to feel like they’re with a man-child when they’re around you, and this needy kind of behaviour is super immature and emasculating.
Know you’re worth.
Nice Guys Don’t have Boundaries
Nice guys lack any real boundaries.
They rarely say no, even if in doing so, they make their own lives much harder.
If a woman knows you’ll be there at her every whim, she sees that she doesn’t have to make any effort to get your attention.
As a result, you’ll almost certainly become her ‘backup guy.’ She’ll call you when she doesn’t have anyone else to go to or when her main guy has upset her.
You don’t want to land yourself in this position!
Nice Guys Try Too Hard to Impress
Women can tell when you’re trying to impress them.
Telling her what car you drive or how much you earn is only going to attract superficial women anyway, who want you for your wealth and status rather than your personality.
Impressing women won’t get you very far, instead, get them interested and curious in you. Become an enigma – something which is enticing and exciting.
Never try and impress her with things or facts – you want your personality to shine through before anything else.
Efforts to impress her with anything else will probably just be a turn off.
Nice Guys Operate Transactionally
Nice guys will typically do things they think will please a girl with the hopes that maybe she will in turn, do something nice for them.
This is not a great way of operating in general, but especially in relationships. Only doing things because you’re hoping for something in return makes you seem disingenuous.
Women are usually very good at detecting ulterior motives and this is a pretty big turn-off.
Relationships shouldn’t feel transactional, you should do something nice for a girl simply because you WANT to. Never because you want something back from her.
If you want sex, tell her – don’t buy her lavish things in a bid to woo her.
Nice Guys Don’t Invest in Themselves
Sadly, nice guys become so obsessed with winning the attention of a female that they forget to invest in themselves.
To really win a woman over for the long-term, you have to be the best version of yourself.
This means being naturally confident, independent, having a good self-esteem and looking after yourself mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
You can’t expect to be a good partner to someone else without taking the time to first look after yourself too.
That concludes today’s video! We hope you found it useful and insightful, stay tuned for future videos!