Learn about the many different ways you end up giving off an uninterested vibe without even realising it.
Today we’re going to be discussing 12 ways you end up giving off an unapproachable vibe.
This isn’t a good trait to have when it comes to dating and life in general. It can turn people off and affect how attractive people find you.
But luckily, by being aware of these small things you’ll be able to take action to address it.
If you want to learn how to get people to approach you, you need to become more approachable for starters. If you’re hoping to get into a relationship soon or are concerned about dating then it’s worth watching the whole video.
The full transcript of this video is available below.
You may think that you are already the full package because you’ve worked on yourself, you’ve read lots of blog posts and watched lots of videos (hopefully from this channel).
You know that you are most definitely a catch but something just isn’t working very well when it comes to approaching people. Or when it comes to people even noticing you out in public or on social media.
The reason could be that you are actually giving off some very uninteresting vibes. Without even realising it. So before someone even wants to approach you, they are completely turned off by your behaviour.
If you want to know the subtle signs that you are giving off which are turning people away from you, keep reading.
My name is Anna and give me a huge thumbs up because it’s very hot today in the studio. If you’re from the UK and you are feeling it, give me some support guys. I’m melting!
You are very messy
This is going to apply in a workspace situation such as an office. It could be your dorm room at University. Or what’s inside your backpack when you are taking things out or even the inside of your car.
There are some studies that have told us that messy people are those that are considered highly creative however it’s actually very unattractive in terms of romance and dating.
If someone is seen as messy and disorganized it shows that they are always surrounded by lots of clutter, have a crazy mentality and give off negative vibes. It shows that you are in general, a very unorganized person and who wants to date someone that’s not organized.
It means they will turn up late to things, they can’t plan ahead, they will forget date night, it’s just someone that you could not depend on in a relationship.
Ignoring emails and messages too often
It happens, we get super busy and we think, you know what I’ll just check that message later. Then we completely forget.
Of course, doing this and letting it become repeat behaviour is actually a downer on relationships. People may think that you are dismissive as a person and that you don’t really care about them.
Some ways this greatly applies in the dating world is how quick you reply to messages. Of course, you do want to leave it potentially a couple of hours maybe a day to build that excitement and to raise the attraction.
However, if this is in a long-term relationship or one that is not as brand new and you are continuously forgetting to message someone back, or you are playing too hard to get, it’s actually a turn-off.
Adjusting your clothing
People can see that you are feeling very insecure in your own body and skin or that you are not comfortable in the current situation and that is all from how you interact with your clothing.
Tugging at the bottom of your shirt, constantly adjusting your tie, rolling up your sleeve, it all comes across as you being very insecure.
In the dating world specifically who wants to date an insecure person? Pretty much well no one.
You’ll want to date confident people who are full of brightness.
You do not smile enough
Some of us do have that resting ‘b’ face and you know what that’s totally okay. What separates those types of people from the very interesting, very much approachable people is that they are able to change up their smile from time to time.
They are yeah low-key a little bit, you know angry whatever and then they are happy and they’re smiling.
Let’s say, for example, you are the person that hates his current situation at the workplace. You are just walking around frowning absolutely hating the day, cannot wait for it to end.
If you don’t actually smile or look like you can smile on command when people look at you, you look like you don’t want to be there, you are very disinteresting and of course very unapproachable.
If you can never understand why no one actually approaches you in public in a romantic sense, it’s because perhaps people think you can’t be bothered with an interaction.
No one wants to approach you if you are not smiling because it shows that you are very angry and very moody. No one wants to date a Squidward right?
You need to make it obvious that you’re a happy confident person by just smiling more.
I get that it feels very weird to smile at strangers, but you know what as soon as a stranger smiles at you, it’s going to brighten up your own day. So instead you be that smiley stranger!
Exhaling too loud
Many moons ago I once worked in a call centre. It was my job to listen to people’s phone calls to analyse them and tell them what they needed to do in terms of their tonality to change it up a little bit.
Now we had this one individual that whenever he got anxious or he felt a little bit angry at what customer was telling him. He would exhale slowly in order to calm himself down. In actual fact, this annoyed customers on the telephone because they thought that he was doing this out of boredom.
When I approached him to ask him about the situation he told me that he had no idea that he was doing that.
You need to analyse your own breathing, because if you are exhaling too loud it makes you come across as you being bored in a situation.
And then WOW! People aren’t going to think that you are very interesting. They might think that you are angry or that you are just always upset.
Facing away from someone you like
Our feet can be a great indication of how much we like someone or who we like in a group situation. Feet will point in the direction of someone that we are attracted to, and the rest of our body specifically the torso actually just follows naturally.
If your feet are actually pointed away from someone that you are on a date with they might get that feeling that you are not interested in them. Therefore there’s going to be no second date.
Your relaxed posture
You need to be paying attention to how you sit and how you stand when you are around people you are trying to attract.
Sometimes you may feel really comfortable in your current situation and that’s great. But it means you are slouching on your chair.
If you are slouching, looking a little bit too comfortable, people may actually think that you are tired. Or that you’re a little bit insecure or even rude.
Instead, you need to remain confident. Stand up straight, push your chest out a little, shoulders back and head up. People will naturally assume that you are confident. And therefore very attractive!
Staring at your phone
In my house, I have a rule that when we are eating, no one is allowed to have their phones at the table. This is with my friends, with my family and with my partner. It’s a rule that I feel every household should actually have.
When you have a phone out and you are looking at it. It actually disconnects you from having a great relationship with that person.
In a dating situation if you are constantly checking your emails you are letting the other person know that you feel that your emails are more important.
If you’re always scrolling on your phone in public no one’s going to want to approach you.
Uber closed off body language
Someone that stands, crossing their arms. Or crosses their legs when seated comes off as very insecure. You are in a defensive mode. You are actually trying to protect yourself.
Well, it looks that way. If we do this so we could say it’s like you were giving yourself a hug because you feel nervous.
If closed-off body language is something that you do often, you come across as insecure. That might be why no one wants to approach you.
Fidgeting and tapping
People constantly wiggle their feet, bouncing their knees or even finger drumming. Come across as if they have actual anxious behaviour.
If this happens on a date the other person is going to feel that you are very insecure. They will think you aren’t actually enjoying yourself because you’re too overwhelmed with nerves.
According to a survey by Deco Staffing, 26 people said that fidgeting is one of the biggest reasons that someone has been unsuccessful in getting a job.
Unable to hold eye contact
Eye contact is such an easy form of displaying self-confidence. It lets the other person know that you are very interested in whatever it is they have to say.
They also know that you are very in tune with them at that moment. You are giving them such undivided attention. If you don’t hold regular eye contact, you come across as insecure.
Are you the type of person that scans the room constantly with their eyes when you are in conversation? The other person is going to feel that you don’t see them as attractive or important.
Meaning you are bored with them which is very unapproachable.
You don’t talk to everyone in the group
It’s so easy to not talk to someone in the group that we don’t know.
We always wait for someone else to approach us. If that person and you have the same mindset though no one’s going to form a conversation, now are they!
If you don’t make an effort to talk to everyone in the friend group, you could actually miss someone out. It could be your best friend’s new girlfriend, you would come across as very cold and unapproachable.
You would be the type of person that no one wants to actually talk to.
I get it. On the inside, you could be shy and anxious. You might struggle with social connections. You need to really work on this though because it’s actually causing more harm than good.
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I really hope you have an amazing day, see you next time.