Do you consider yourself a nice guy? You feel as if you are doing everything right. Pulling out a lady’s chair for her, texting her after a date and taking an interest in her hobbies. Basically, doing everything girls say they want but you continue to get rejected by girls, which leaves you feeling hurt and lacking confidence.
It can be tempting to start acting like a bad guy but avoid the temptation guys because there is an in between which will put a stop to rejection and leave you with a flourishing love life.
In today’s video I am going to tell you why nice guys keep getting rejected by girls and how you can avoid it.
Why Do Girls Reject Nice Guys
You tried too hard before she is attracted to you
Girls take longer than guys to develop feelings. They need to go off more than just looks or even personality and look for something much deeper… trust.
It takes quite a few encounters and messages for a girl to start to trust a guy and then become attracted to him. Which is something guys don’t always understand, especially nice guys.
Instead of waiting for the girl to develop an attraction, nice guys can get swept up in the buzz of meeting a girl they actually find attractive. They get over excited and start laying it on thick.
Nice guys will often start by asking deeply personal questions in a bid to get to know a girl and show that they are interested in them. At this stage though girls are only interested in surface level questions like “what job do you do?”.
Nice guys also might meet a girl and as soon as they wake up the next day, text her and ask when they can see her again. The problem here is, the nice guy thinks he is being nice, but the girl thinks he is being full on and clingy.
He is giving off red flags which she is keen to avoid. The key takeaway here is to show interest but not try too hard at the very beginning when the girl is still figuring out if she is attracted to you.
You try to form a relationship before sex
Nice guys always want to be respectful of girls. They want a girl to think of them as a gentleman.
Of course, being respectful towards girls is very important and if you are not, a girl won’t be interested in you. The problem here is that nice guys are so respectful that they try to form a relationship with a girl before they have sex with them. They believe it is the respectful and gentleman like thing to do.
Some girls do prefer this but if they do, they will normally tell you that they do at the beginning. They might say something like, I don’t normally have sex with a guy until I am in a relationship with them.
Most girls though want to have sex and see where the relationship goes. After having sex, you might both realize that it was a one-time thing or you might continue to date until you are boyfriend and girlfriend.
As a nice guy, not putting sex on the table sends a girl mixed messages. She wants to know that it’s available and that this isn’t just a friendship thing.
You are just too nice
It’s true, there is such a thing as being too nice.
We are all taught to be nice. We should be both nice and kind but when it comes to impressing a lady, you need to give her some spice and some mystery.
Nice guys will often be too nice, to the point it becomes cringy. They might try and be best friends with the girl’s mum or compliment her friends all the time.
He might never get angry and never give his true opinion on topics she really needs his opinion on. Nice guys can finish last when they are just being too nice.
Try to take a step back, don’t become too attached too early on. Give her space, and wait at least a day before messaging her first.
Nice guys friendzone themselves
If a guy is too nice to a girl then she will assume he only wants to be her friend and nothing more.
He will find himself rejected and automatically friendzoned, it’s harsh but true. If you have ever found yourself in the friendzone you will know that it is the worst place to be.
Nice guys can avoid this though by not friendzoning themselves. I am sure you are thinking, ok but how do I do that? Well, you need to stop acting like their friend and start acting more like someone they should be attracted to.
Start flirting from the very beginning so that they know you want more than a friendship. After speaking for a while about wanting to take her on a date, this makes it clear that you want more than friendship.
When you are together, touch her because again this shows that you are attracted to her. It could be something as small as touching her arm, but it still tells her a lot about how you feel.
The earlier you can make it clear to her that you want more, the less likely you are to be friendzoned.
When you put the girl ahead of yourself
No one should ever be more important than you. There is a huge difference between being a nice person and a pushover.
Girls want a guy who is strong and sets boundaries for himself. They don’t want someone who becomes so obsessed with her, who puts her in front of themselves. Giving up things they like to do because they want to spend time with her, ignoring friends, bailing on family, these are all signs that you are becoming a pushover.
Sure, some girls might like this but it normally means they are not the right girls to be with.
You want someone who respects you and would never make you put them ahead of yourself.
No sexual tension
Sexual tension is really important in a relationship, without it any hint of romance can crumble quickly.
It’s hard to explain what sexual tension is but if you have ever experienced it, you’ll know what I mean. It’s a magical feeling in the air which is almost magnetic. Sexual tension is what drives you to have sex with another person.
You think to yourself, wow I would have sex with this person. Sometimes nice guys don’t make a girl feel any sexual tension because they either remove sex off the table without meaning to or they friend-zone themselves.
If you are a nice guy and you are sick of rejection, focus on creating some sexual tension between you and a girl. You might just find you have more luck.
Waiting too long to make the move
Nice guys are known for stepping back and waiting for the girl to make the first move. Now this isn’t just because they are nervous or shy, it’s because they are respectful and believe they should wait for a girl to show that she is interested.
There is some truth in this and no matter what kinda guy you are, you should be respectful towards women, but nice guys need to show girls that they are interested.
If you wait too long to make your move, a girl will lose interest in you.
From the first time you meet she should have some kind of idea that you are interested in her. Maybe it will be from the way you make eye contact, the conversation you have or the way you touch her arm briefly.
However you do it, make it clear that you are interested in her and don’t wait too long to ask her on a date.
Just like any other type of guy, nice guys can lack confidence.
A lack of confidence can stop guys from being their full selves in front of girls. They kind of forget how to act, which questions to ask and sometimes they don’t even have the confidence to approach a girl.
This will never win a girl over and it will only make her add you to her rejection pile.
Improving your confidence is an important thing for any nice guy to do. Don’t underestimate how essential confidence is in winning over girls.
Being too much of a gentleman
I bet you didn’t think you could be too much of a gentleman. After all men are always being told to be more gentleman-like but it is a thing that can happen!
Girls go after strong men, men that they think can protect them. If a man is too much of a gentleman it can make him appear soft and unable to protect her. Sure, she wants a man that respects her and will pull out her chair. But she doesn’t want a man who is too clingy or too polite to ever joke around with.
It’s easy for nice guys to become gentleman-like and they forget that a girl wants to spend time around someone who is fun.
Try to be both a gentleman and fun, that will see girls picking you over lots of other guys.
Pretending not to be interested in sex
Most guys are interested in sex and girls find it strange when they pretend not to be.
It almost seems like they are being dishonest or not opening up to the girl they are flirting with, and we all know how important trust is to girls.
Nice guys think they need to pretend not to be interested in sex because they think it’s the right thing to do and it will make them more desirable in the eyes of a woman but this is not true.
A girl wants a guy who is going to be nice to her, but she also wants someone that she can have sex with and build sexual tension with.
You don’t need to make a whole heap of sexual jokes, but you also don’t need to hide that you are a guy who is interested in sex.