Flirting is definitely a healthy way of interacting with the opposite sex, that is if you are doing it right!
It can also be a very thin line between healthy and creepy.
It is a well-known fact that women love when a man flirts, but what they don’t like is a dirty, gross pick-up line.
So, today guys let’s talk about flirting techniques that women love and will fall for if you do them right.
How to be successful at flirting
Firstly, be confident
I cannot stress this enough! Exude confidence.
Having some nerves is completely fine, but nobody finds a nervous wreck attractive. Project your confidence without being overconfident. This will make a world of a difference when it comes to flirting with a girl.
Confidence is truly the first key to attraction. Make sure to stand up tall, shoulders back, maintain eye contact and show off that impressive smile whilst giving her a firm lingering handshake when you first greet her.
Introduce yourself like you love who you are and be an Alpha male to become successful with any woman.
Go with the flow
If you spill a bit of food on your shirt or stumble when you are walking, don’t linger on that situation, just laugh it off and make light of it! It’s okay to be imperfect, being real helps women relax and less anxious.
If giggling over a clumsy mistake opens up a great conversation then go with it.
Going with the flow also means getting to know each other, not rushing into anything serious and finding out if you are compatible.
Keeping things light and flirty doesn’t put a deadline on things, Keeping it casual makes the rules of flirting more desirable. Enjoy each other at that moment and the rest will flow.
Let’s talk about Compliments
This is the age-old flirting tips that never fails.
Using subtle compliments come naturally. Speaking from your pants and not from your heart can fast track you to sleaze town and that is a no go for most women.
So try techniques like ‘I just had to come over and talk to you’ which shows her you are attracted to her without being encroaching.
Next, keep it simple. ‘You have a great smile or great eyes’ it’s less disturbing and more thrilling, and ‘I really like how you are so….,’ lastly focus on the personality not her looks.
It’s a lot more meaningful when someone validates who you are as opposed to what you look like.
Stop the cheesy lines
Be yourself and have real conversations with her. Ladies like the simple ‘hey, how are you?’ rather than a cheesy ‘did it hurt? when you fell from heaven’. Please stop, it is not an icebreaker and more of a trip and fall at the threshold.
If you’re looking at making a woman laugh then that’s about it, as you will soon find yourself running into the same problems that most men do. They’re unnatural and ladies know, we are simply good at sensing things are not going smoothly.
If a pickup line is stale or unnatural we will see that. Being spontaneous and expressing yourself honestly is way easier than memorizing cheesy phrases that will not shine a light that reflects your potential, they are outdated and borderline embarrassing.
The language of the body
There’s a reason why most flirting tips have a lot to do with body language, such as how you are positioning your body, where your eyes are looking and what types of touch you are exchanging.
They are not magical tricks; they are cues that show someone that you really are paying attention to them.
Small, subtle touches, like slightly brushing your hand against theirs when you are walking, or patting their arm when they make you laugh or touching their arm during a conversation are all key ways to show someone that you are attentive to them.
There are a lot of other ways to express your interest without using touch.
For example leaning in or facing your body towards her when chatting, smiling and holding eye contact.
Playful teases
- Tease and have fun about her habits, notice things she does and comment in a light-hearted way. Get her laughing and make her realize your noticing personal things about her. You must be open to her teasing you back, so try leaving the comment open for her to tease you on something similar. The aim is to get a back and forth running joke rather than a one side insult.
- Include physical teasing. A good way to tease her that has the added benefits of bringing you into contact with her. Try the ‘pull it away method.’ Think about buying her something nice or tickets to go somewhere she wants to go. Offer them to her then pull it out of her reach, each time you do this it gets her that little bit closer to you.
Being playful, like tickling or poking, trying to bring out a reaction, is a good way to flirt.
- Nicknames are often a good way to be flirty, notice something she really likes or talks a lot about and come up with a cute nickname and make it fun. Remember it’s all about getting those laughs.
- Challenge her. Women like to be challenged mentally and physically so why not create an environment where you can push her buttons.
Women like to get their own way but if it is too easy, we lose interest very quickly. Make decisions together but be sure to tease her in letting her get her way. This is a sure-fire way to draw interest. Physically, we will very rarely suggest a hike or a long walk but challenge us and watch us go! This is ideal time to bond and build on your interest.
Eye contact
When talking face-to-face with her, lock eyes and maintain it.
This shows you are invested in the conversation and not drifting off around the room.
Holding eye contact is a simple, yet effective, way of feeling more connected and builds a sincere bond with someone. It can also project confidence and helps you feel at ease around her.
It shows you that you are being present, and you are interested in what she has to say. This is a top tip to show that you are into her and paying her all of your attention.
Smiling
Knowing the key elements of flirting with a woman requires you to be aware of your own body language and this starts with your mouth.
The first thing someone notices about you is your smile, the flirting always starts with a glimpse of them pearly whites. So, giving a cheeky smile as you walk past her will have her thinking about you.
Smiling is a crucial basic human interaction from one person to another. They can be unconscious or deliberate, but either way a smile is a sign of attraction and can be a cue for you to start a flirtatious chat.
Listen to her
Listening to her is a no-brainer but it still needs to be said.
Remembering key details that she has shared with you will have you in her good books. If she has taken time to tell you something about her, take the time to store it.
Also, don’t be that man on a date who asks a woman every 30 mins, “Enough about me, what about you?” This is exactly what you don’t want to do.
Make sure you are actually paying attention to her, and it will, in turn, help you understand and personalize what she has to say, you will also strengthen the relationship and that bond by making her feel seen and heard.
Texting tips
- Keep it short as a general rule, short and sweet is always better. So avoid typing really long messages if you’re going for that flirty tone. It will be more effective in capturing her attention.
- Staying positive when texting, being up-beat and light-hearted with your conversations is the key. It should make you feel like you’re kind of back in high school. Keep things cheery and not too heavy or too enthusiastic.
- Complimentary, as the saying goes, flattery will get you everywhere. But this will only have its desirable effect if you are being genuine and sincere.
- Be playful, having playful banter and teasing your crush over text is a great way to flirt. By letting her make fun back at you shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Just make sure she knows you are joking and having some fun, try giving each other silly nicknames and adding some emojis in the mix and this will help show her your playful nature.
- A strong finish, know when it’s time to stop texting so that you don’t want to be that person that keeps up the text exchange hours after there’s nothing to say. Talk just long enough to hook her into wanting to know more about you, then say you have to go. Don’t run the conversation dry, if you are doing most of the talking and her replies are getting shorter, then stop and refresh tomorrow.
If you ask a man and a woman for flirting techniques, they will likely be telling you completely different things. Men think flirting with a woman is about pick-up lines, apparent displays of masculinity and sexual innuendos. Well what women really want are engaging conversations, humor, confidence and respect. The truth is most men overthink flirting.
The next time you want to approach a woman, remember these techniques from a female perspective and you will be more likely to have a great flirt and a second date on the cards.