What should you do when a woman pulls away in a relationship? It’s all too common to find yourself worrying and working yourself up. You may find yourself frequently asking questions like why is she losing interest? Why is she acting distant all of a sudden? It’s important to take some time and understand that this doesn’t mean the end of the relationship and a breakup is on the horizon. There is still time to act and by watching today’s video you can learn what you should do when she pulls away.
What to do when a woman pulls away
It’s a horrible feeling when you are in a relationship and you notice your partner pulling away. It can be confusing and heartbreaking at the same time. All relationships go through ups and downs and if you do notice your partner pulling away, it is important to remember this. You are not powerless if this happens though and there are things you can do to improve and with time fix the relationship.
In today’s video, we are going to talk about what to do when a woman pulls away. Keep watching to find out more.
First step: What is going on in their outside life
The first step to figuring out why your partner is pulling away is to recognise what’s going on with your partner according to relationship expert Emily Holmes Hahn. She says “while it’s easy to jump to conclusions, there’s no one size fits all reason for why your partner is acting distant when things seem to be going well”. They might have issues at work, family problems or general upsets happening outside of the relationship. These things add up and could mean that this is why they are being distant. You need to take a step back and think about what is going on in their lives before thinking that there is something directly wrong with your relationship.
Second step: remain calm
Take a breath and remain calm. The worst thing you could do is start acting out or acting in anger. If your partner is having issues outside of your relationship then they hardly need you to be acting out, they need your support instead.
Third Step: Take some time before approaching them
There is no point jumping in and saying things you are going to regret. You need to take some time to yourself to think about what you want to say and the solution you want to come out of your conversation. Do you want to carry on your relationship? Do you want some time apart? Do you want to be break up? Whatever solution you would like, make sure that you think about what to say so that you can reach this solution. This will also make sure that you are not as angry or hurt when you speak to them.
Fourth step: See the situation for what it really is
Dr Alexandra Solomon the author of Loving Bravely: Twenty Lesson of Self-Discovery to Help You Get The Love You Want has said that a partner pulling away could be a huge red flag. This is because sometimes when a partner pulls away, it can mean they are cheating or they are losing interest in the relationship. Not what you want to hear I know but we do have to mention it. If you approach a woman and accuse her of things, she will pull away and that will be it. You need to stay open and curious as to why she is pulling away. That will help to ensure that you have the best chance of making the relationship work. If she is pulling way because she has simply lost interest, well this is a big red flag and it’s time for you to move on.
Fifth Step: Write down your thoughts and feelings.
It’s important to look after yourself when something like this happens. Part of that is not numbing your feelings and dealing with them as they come up. It’s important to write down your thoughts and feelings so that you can start to process them. This will make the whole experience a healthier one and will allow you to grow as a person. Make sure to carve out some private time for yourself where you sit down and go through what’s happening in your mind. If you find that it is to much to deal with on yourself then talk to a friend about how you are feeling.
Sixth step: Use ‘I’ statements
Now that you have taken some time to calm down and collect your thoughts and feelings, you can approach your partner. When you are speaking to your partner it is very important to use ‘I’ statements. Using I statements is a softer way of conveying your thoughts and feelings to your partner. It makes the conversation less threatening and won’t scare your partner away. An example of this is “I feel hurt by the way you have been acting and I’m wondering how we can get back on track”.
Seventh step: Give her space
When someone you love especially your partner starts pulling away from you it can be tempting to try and pull them back in. Maybe by arranging a holiday or lots of dates. Basically trying to be with them all the time but what your partner actually might need is space. They might need time to figure out how they feel and why they feel that way. After a few weeks, they might be ready to re-commit and your relationship could go from strength to strength. Whereas if you are constantly pestering them, they won’t have time to process their feelings and may just end the relationship in panic.
Eighth step: Keep your relationship open
It can be easy when you are hurt to just shut everything down and walk away. Maybe you feel as if that preserves your dignity or protects you from being hurt. The truth is that you are only going to feel worse if you do this. It takes a lot of strength and calmness but if your partner does want space, it’s important to keep the door open for them. If they have point blank said, I don’t want this anymore then ok by all means slam that door shut. If they simply ask for time though to think about their next steps it’s important that you tell them that you will be there for them when they are ready. This can sound like you are being a pushover but actually, this is a noble thing to you. If you love someone and something has happened to them, giving them the space to heal will mean your relationship will get better and last longer.
Ninth step: Meet your own needs
While you are giving your partner space, you might feel lonely or need to run back to them. This is when it is important to meet your own needs. If you feel lonely then meet up with friends or spend time with family. If you feel bored then join a club or pick up a hobby. If you are sad and feel as if you need help then see a therapist. These are small things you can do to keep your mind occupied and stay busy while your partner is taking space. All of these things will make you feel better and in the long run, they will make you a more interesting well-rounded person.
Tenth step: Be thoughtful
Do you want to pull them back in then? Well, then a nice touch is to be thoughtful and dial up the romance. They have had their space and have chosen to come back which can sometimes be a little awkward at the start. Surprising them with a romantic dinner or a weekend trip away will get you both back into the romantic mind frame again and will show your partner that you are ready to start again. You could also have her favourite flowers waiting when she arrives homes. It will give you both a boost but will show your lady how important she is to you and that she is worth everything you have gone through.
So basically guys if a woman starts to pull away. Stay calm, think about what could be going on with her, write down your thoughts and feelings, use I statements when talking, give her some space, keep your relationship open, meeting your own needs and then top it off by being thoughtful.